Dads Cafe

I Never Thought How Quick It Would Come

2008-11-01T00:39:00.001-07:00

My wife and I are starting the process of finding a college for my oldest son, David. I can't believe how fast the time has flown by! I have these images running through my head of him playing in the mud, me strapping in his car seat, learning how to ride a bike before I could teach him, starting his first day of school, swinging at balls with his little league buddies, playing catch, going to middle school, deciding that girls were OK after all, starting high school, teaching him how to drive, wrestling meets, football games, SAT tests, and alas, graduating from high school and now...college applications. We are so proud of him in so many ways for the things he has accomplished and the great young man that he is becoming.

My thoughts are going out to you newer dads who are just now starting the process. Be sure to spend time with your kids....as much as you can possibly give. Pray for them daily. Let them see you in the stands cheering for them at their games or going to their performances and school events. Time is the one gift you will never regret giving to your kids. Take in each moment with them and record in your mind all of the feelings, sights, sounds, smells, tears, laughter, and fun that you can remember. The time will come too soon when you are filling out all of the college applications and the flashbacks will overwhelm you. I can promise you that!

Going All The Way

2007-09-30T23:04:00.001-07:00

No Guys....this isn't what you think it is! "Going All The Way" is the title of a new book by Craig Groeschel. Here is a great description of the book:

“Going all the way” used to mean getting what you want from the opposite sex now…and paying for it later.

It’s time to redefine.

Smart advice for a new generation about love, sex, and happily ever after.

You’ve seen marriages fail time and again. Even relationships you thought were bullet proof don’t last. Once promising couples dissolve in the acid of selfishness, conflict, or unfaithfulness… or fade away to a cold, gray lovelessness. No wonder that for our generation, “getting what you want” is often a substitute for love, and disillusionment about marriage is the new normal.

So what do you do if you want a marriage that doesn’t just survive, but thrives? That doesn’t just begin romantically but ends magnificently? Answer: You do something different.

Whether you’re thinking ahead to marriage, are about to be wed, or have been married for a while and want to make changes, this book can help. Going All the Way will guide you through the choices and commitments you need to make now in order to build a strong and vibrant relationship that will go the distance. In a world where going all the way means putting yourself first, author Craig Groeschel will show you how, by putting God first, you can build a soul-enriching, lifelong relationship.

With practical, candid discussions about sex, first dates, integrity, forgiveness, and communication, Craig will help you prepare for and experience a relationship that gives fresh, hope-filled meaning to “going all the way” with the one you love.

If this sounds like something you would like to read, click here for ordering information from Amazon.com

Dads...here's a way to teach your kids how to give

2007-09-30T06:53:00.000-07:00

I want to let you all know about a cool non-profit that is doing great things: Kiva.org
Kiva.org allows individuals to make $25 loans to low-income entrepreneurs in the developing world (microfinance). By doing so, individuals like you provide affordable working capital for the poor (money to buy a sewing machine, livestock, etc.), empowering them to earn their way out of poverty.

It's a new, direct and sustainable way to fight global poverty, and the way I see it, I get a higher return on $25 helping someone build a future than the interest my checking account pays.

Anyways, if you have a minute, please check out the site: http://kiva.org. If you need more "reputable" validation than my recommendation :), know that they have received great press in publications ranging from The Wall Street Journal to NPR to BusinessWeek.

Thanks for reading!

You've Got To Start Somewhere

2007-09-20T12:19:00.001-07:00

I've always admired my Dad. He's someone that has a quiet inner strength and an air of confidence about him. One of the best things that he has done in his life in my opinion, is to write a book about his life. What a gift that he has given to me and to my kids. There is so much in the book that I never knew about. He writes about his beginnings and the trials and victories in his life. He always said that he would like to someday write a book and he finally did a few years ago. The point is that you got to start somewhere. Just beginning a project is a victory in itself. I guess I don't feel led to start a book but I can see the value in expressing thoughts about life's victories and challenges so that others can get a glimpse of what lies deep within us. So here goes....

Great video and a fantastic blog

2007-09-20T11:08:00.000-07:00

I came across this video from a friends blog. You have to check it out, it's a great video and a great blog www.albertasantecdotes.blogspot.com. I have copied what she said exactly in her blog.

A true inspiration to encourage you to always go after your dreams!! Some have asked me why I've put this on my blog. To me, it was the epitomy of someone who went for their dream even though others may have discouraged him, or perhaps he wasn't confident enough in his own talent. He's the 'underdog' who came out on top...he goes on to win the entire competition. It's interesting to view the final event to see even how his countenance has changed. To me, it was an inspiration because it encourages us to go for our dreams, no matter if others discourage us. If it's truly something we know we are 'meant' to do, with God's help, and perseverance, we will get there. I pray it will encourage you as well to go for your dreams.

I couldn't say it any better, Alberta!

Legacy Dad

2007-08-30T23:24:00.001-07:00

I came across a great blog that I would like to share with all fathers and prospective fathers called "Legacy Dad" (http://www.legacydad.com/). What an amazing blog that will inspire you and encourage you to strive just a little bit more to be the kind of father that God wants you to be.

Here is just a small capsule taken directly from Lance at the Legacy Dad Site:

The picture above is of some good friends of mine (I hope they don't mind, I just thought it was a great picture)...Bobby and Rachel Marchessault. I know Bobby is well on his way to becoming a Legacy Dad of his own!! You should check out his blog also at www.myworshiprevolution.com

Who is a Legacy Dad?

Take a moment and think about your own father or if you did not have a father, someone who was like a father to you…

What do you remember most?
What type of man was he?
Do you remember any special times together?
Are there any times you wish you could forget?
Would you consider this man a mentor or someone to look up to?

Now ask yourself…

What will my children remember me for?

Legacy Dad is a roadmap for building these memories for your children and guiding your children towards success. It gives you specific tools that can help shape a legacy that you will pass on to your children, one in which they will have truly wonderful memories. They will remember you as their mentor and Legacy Dad.

Where we are?

Every man starts this process from a different point, some may be further and some may not yet be to the point of fully committing to this type of plan but the great thing about Legacy Dad is it is made to be a tailored plan. You can use certain areas only or use the whole program. The most important step is to customize this plan to your parenting style, your beliefs and your children. This truly creates a unique experience.

I was at a point in my life where I was spiritually filled, my marriage was better than average, I was progressing well in my career and I wanted to really influence and guide my children. As you look through the Legacy Dad Principles you may find an area you personally need to work on first before applying other principles, don’t worry this is perfectly okay and trying to take shortcuts and skipping a step will not bring about the same results.

In short, Legacy Dad is for a special breed of man, the man who is ready to take the next step and move towards finding Self Actualization. I caution you that this is not easy and most men never make it to this point in their lives, they die wishing they would have gone down this road. This will not be a lot of touchy, feely good suggestions but actual “get out in the real world” and “show your true colors” hard work.

A Legacy Dad must be a wise man, a worldly man. He must have knowledge in a variety of areas that normal men do not. He must master four critical areas in life and take the reigns as the spiritual leader in his family.
A Legacy Dad is:

A man who is bold but humble
A man who honors his wife and treats her as his united partner and confidant
A man who is not afraid to speak about his beliefs and values
A man who has or is ready to become the spiritual leader of his family
A man who sets the example for others to follow
A man who friends and colleagues look up to and ask advice of
A man who is willing to lay it all on the line to protect his family

But most importantly Legacy Dad is

A man who realizes that his children are God’s greatest gift to him and his legacy will not be his job, will not be his money, and will not be his personal accomplishments; but it will be the teachings, guidance, and values that he passes on to his children. His children will take these principles on to their children and their children’s children thus creating a family Legacy.

Maybe no man in your family tree has ever taken this step? Maybe you can be the first?
Most men will never walk this path. Are you up to the Legacy challenge?

Please take the opportunity to check out this fantastic blog...you'll love it!!

Alaska Cruise

2007-08-30T22:55:00.001-07:00

This year is our 20th wedding anniversary. We decided to celebrate with my brother-in-law and his wife, and another friend from our basketball team on an Alaskan Cruise. We had such a great time on Celebrity Cruises (M/V Mercury) and visited Juneau, Skagway, Hubbard Glacier, and Ketchikan. The weather was perfect and we could see God's majesty everywhere we looked. Towering mountains, streams, tranquil seas, glaciers, forests as far as the eye can see, and animals in their wild habitat. It was a magnificent week and one that we will always remember.

School Daze

2007-08-15T17:48:00.000-07:00

Well....school has started again and I again approach the fall season with both gladness and trepidation. On the one hand, i'm glad because my kids will be back in the swing of things with school and sports, etc. The trepidation comes from knowing that they are a year closer to leaving our home and going on to new adventures in their own lives. My 16 year old (David) is a Junior and playing defensive and offensive line for the Santa Cruz Cardinals. My 14 year old is starting at Harbor High School as a quarterback and Safety. I hope all of you parents remember to go to as many games as you can to see your children play. It's important! I hear many kids saying to others how they wish their parents were at their games. Tomorrow I will be rushing to two different football games at two different schools but I won't regret one minute of it.

Off To Camp and Passion Pacific

2007-07-09T07:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday afternoon I dropped my daughter Emily off at Camp for a week of fun and new experiences. She didn't know anybody that was going and when we arrived she saw nothing but a sea of new faces. For her this won't be a problem because she makes friends so easily and naturally. Sometimes I admire that quality in her because I take longer to warm up to a crowd.

Today my boys are going on a week long missions trip with their church called "Passion Pacific." It's a week where the youth group goes out and ministers to our local community (Santa Cruz) but also to Oakland and San Francisco. They will be working with seniors, kids, and others as they clean and repair buildings, do yardwork, put on a free carnival, perform dramas, sing, etc.

I guess that means that Jane & I will be home alone for the week. Oh darn! ;)

Getting Ready for Reno

2007-05-23T23:46:00.000-07:00

Well at 5:00pm tomorrow we are off to Reno to watch my son's AAU Basketball Tournament. We had such a blast last year and can't wait to go again! The best part is that we will be going up in our new Toyota Highlander. I'll post some pics after the tournament. Bye for now!

Words of Wisdom For Dads (and Moms!)

2007-05-12T08:17:00.000-07:00

I couldn't say this any better. This comes from Jason Peacock who writes for Christian Dads (a very cool blog).

Check it out here: http://www.christiandads.com/archives/jason-peacock/

"The game ball goes to……” You could hear a pin drop. It’s not often that 9 and 10 year old boys will sit still for anything, but for the coveted “game ball” ceremony, they sat motionless, waiting for the next words out of the coach’s mouth. The boys weren’t the only ones on pins and needles. I mentally went through the game that had just transpired: “Ok, Tanner went 3 for 3 with 4 runs batted in and played some great D; that has to put him in the running…..Oh, and he scored twice. Surely that got the coach’s attention?!?” The coach paused for dramatic effect and then spoke two of the most beautiful words in the world…..”Tanner Peacock!” You would have thought he had just won the most important award in the world….well, he did. It was the most important award in the world……his world. All season long he had hoped to hear his name called, and every time it wasn’t I would walk him back to the car, arm around him, encouraging him to keep working hard and his day would come. I have to admit, that elusive game ball became the most important award in my world as well. I heard a piece of advice years ago that has served me well in parenting: make what is important to them as important to you as that person is to you. Read that again; it’s kind of deep to get at first glance. I’m not saying that you become a “stage Mom” or that you live vicariously through your kids, but get involved! I am amazed at the amount of kids that have to play their games, perform their recitals or sing their concerts in front of other kids’ parents. Where is their mom and dad? Work, play, civic duties? If you are one of those, I have a word for you: Get a different job! Work and money will come again, childhood doesn’t!"

Thanks to Bobby Marchessault

2007-05-10T09:56:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my new friend, Bobby Marchessault who has made it his life's mission to get everyone he knows to start blogging. He's succeeding one by one! Check out his blog at www.myworshiprevolution.com.

Celebrate Being a Dad

2007-05-10T08:32:00.000-07:00

This picture of my two boys was taken nearly 12 years ago and sits on my dresser at home. It's a daily reminder to me of how fast time marches on yet leaves me wondering where it all went!

This journey through time has been unbelieveably fulfilling. I often think about how priceless time with my kids has been over the years and why the Lord has seen fit to bless me with them.

I've had people ask me if I'm crazy as I race from the football field to the wrestling mat or to the basketball court in a hurried frenzy to make as many of their games or meets as possible. Or to the school play to see my beautiful 10 year old daughter beaming as she waves from the stage. Crazy? Maybe, but I don't think so. I know I won't make as much money as I could if I worked harder. But I will gladly make that trade of time for money.

My idea for this blog is to create a place for dads to come together to celebrate and to exchange thoughts and ideas that will help us through this wonderful journey of fatherhood. A place to be open, vulnerable, and real.